by Dr. Lois Frankel
This week's tip is from my good friend and corporate coach Dr. Lois
Frankel. It deals with making positive changes and the challenges of
doing it successfully. Cold Calling is not many people's favorite
behavior. I think you will find the advice both interesting and
useful.
Making positive and lasting changes in behavior is difficult. One of
our coaches, Dr. John Miller, has written "Succeed @ Work," a
workbook to help you improve your behavior on the job. Here are a
few of the tips that Dr. Miller suggests:
1. Clearly identify the specific behaviors that you want to change. If
you're like most people, only a small handful of behaviors are
limiting your effectiveness. Therefore, don't overreact to the need
to change. Identify the exact behaviors that are causing you
problems on the job. To help you do this successfully, get input
from a few trusted colleagues who routinely see you perform. Once
you have gathered enough information, write a short and concise
statement that clearly articulates the behaviors that you feel need to
be changed.
2. Decide on the new positive behaviors that will replace the old
behaviors. Now that you know what you need to change, itemize
the new and more effective behaviors that you want to demonstrate
in place of the old behaviors. Be specific and write these in
behavioral terms such as, "I will express my opinion in a tactful but
forceful manner when confronted by a bullying peer." Think
carefully about the exact behaviors that you want to demonstrate to
ensure that they are realistic and achievable.
3. Increase your knowledge base where needed. If you want to
delegate more effectively, you may need to read up on how to
successfully make a work assignment. If you want to handle
confrontation more effectively, you may need to learn more about
different conflict resolution strategies. As a word of caution, some
people get stuck at this point as they read endlessly on a subject.
They choose to read rather than take action and implement their
knowledge. Gaining needed knowledge is important, but don't use
it as a crutch to avoid taking action.
4. Watch others who are good at demonstrating your desired
behaviors. You can learn a great deal about how to successfully act
out positive behaviors by observing others who are unusually good
at demonstrating the very behaviors that you want to adopt.
5. Visualize yourself acting out the new behaviors. Many athletes
use visualization techniques as a way to mentally practice their
performance. Visualization is a powerful tool that can also help
you. To visualize, mentally picture yourself acting out the desirable
behaviors in a variety of situations. See yourself being successful in
demonstrating the new behaviors and then take a moment to
appreciate how good you feel when you are acting in a more
effective manner.
6. Practice, practice, practice. Behavior is generated based on the
neurological connections or pathways in your brain. In this sense,
behavior is largely physiological in nature. Over time you have
developed a strong neurological pathway that has resulted in your
troublesome behaviors. The only way to develop a new and more
effective pathway is by practicing the desirable behaviors over and
over. You must act out these new behaviors at every appropriate
opportunity until they become automatic. Once this happens the old
behaviors will fade. But remember, it takes constant practice!
7. Don't be discouraged if you are not completely successful at first.
The more deeply entrenched the old behaviors, the more practice it
will take to replace them with positive new behaviors. Plan on
failing, but don't let your temporary failure defeat you. Learn from
your mistakes and try again. The more you try your new
behaviors, the more effective you will become.
8. Get others to hold you accountable. More often than not, we tend
to avoid asking others to help us change. However, studies indicate
that we dramatically improve our chances of changing behaviors by
enlisting others to give us on-going feedback about our success in
demonstrating new behaviors. Find a few colleagues who are
willing to be both honest and helpful, and enlist them as your
helpers.
9. Reward yourself frequently. Successfully changing behavior is
largely based on the frequency that you reward the desirable
behavior. When you demonstrate your desirable behaviors, give
yourself a mental pat on the back. Don't wait until you are able to
demonstrate your new behaviors perfectly to reward yourself. A
lasting change in behaviors is built on incremental improvements.
Reward yourself for small but positive steps in the right direction.
10. Keep change a high priority. People tend to fail immediately
after they succeed. That is to say, they take their short-term success
for granted. Anyone can go on a diet for a day or go to the gym for
a week or two. The secret is maintaining positive behaviors over
time. To do this, incorporate the desirable new behaviors into your
lifestyle. They must become a part of you. Be vigilant about your
change process. Make it as important as anything else you do.
If you would like more information on Dr. Miller's book or to order
a copy, please contact Corporate Coaching International at
626-405-7310 or by email at info@corporatecoachingintl.com.
Lois P. Frankel, Ph.D.
KNX 1070 "Eye on Your Career"
Author of the Bestsellers
Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office &
Nice Girls Don't Get Rich
www.drloisfrankel.com
www.corporatecoachingintl.com
626.405.7310
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